I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
