ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
