bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
