don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
