I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You can't just leave with hair like that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
