just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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