Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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