I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
