i was born a porn star she said
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Shame - the story of my life.
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