worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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