I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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