I need help removing her.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
