The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
