just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
