guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we made out on top of his cat.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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