Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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(281): View more from Texas

I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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(914): View more from New York

so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

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(518): View more from New York

how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

(404): View more from Georgia

so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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(818): View more from California

...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?

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(408): View more from California

You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

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(530): View more from California

Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(

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(860): View more from Connecticut

so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.

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