I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
