Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
