TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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