Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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