I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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