she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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