as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You made out with two different species that night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
