I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You are a genius and a whore.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
