We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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