You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
