so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
