i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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