you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
