Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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