He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
