so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
