The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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