What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
