I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Randomize
