What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
