Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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