If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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