Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
