i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
