Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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