I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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