The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
