so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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