can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize