I can tuck mytits in my pants
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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