they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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