how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
