You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
