if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
