How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You're like the curious george of whores
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
