Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wow bdsm is so cute
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
