She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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