That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
