How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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