As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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