well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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