did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
