I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
