I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
