i already hear my dad disowning me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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