I didn't shave. On purpose
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
