Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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