I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
